215: A great misfortune
I thought I had pneumonia. Sunday night threw me into a feverish pit of anguish as the right side of my chest decided to fuck me over. Properly. But I do not have pneumonia, I have a common virus infection, commonly known as "a cold". But this cold has managed to strain or tear or rape one of my abdominal muscles, making me feel like I'm on a play-date with Sascha Vykos. So now I gulp down some heavy cough medicine, pray to an eldritch deity and await nightfall. Because with the darkness comes the need to cough.. and boy do I cough.
I believe I asked a girl out this weekend. I don't exactly know why. Well I know why, but I'm still rather confused. I'll explain; I'm very well adept to reading other people and their emotions, probably because I don't consciously experience them myself very well. It's more or less that I analyze and digest my thoughts and emotions until there is nothing left. It's the nihilist approach, and it probably makes me better equipped to withstand manipulation and indoctrination, but it also makes me a rather unfit member of society. But once in a while, I am able to dissect my own behaviour as if I was someone else, and from that come to certain conclusions. Like for instance:
"Why did I sheepishly smile and felt uplifted in spirit when she entered the door? I guess I like her. Yeah, but I don't know her. I could get to know her, though. How? Ask her out, you stupid twat! Hey, you didn't use a first person pronoun! Well you didn't either! When? Right now! I protest! Oh, fuck I! Wait, was that a lingual joke or did I just ask myself to penetrate an eye-socket? You know this because you are the one who said it! Me? Yes, I! I'm confused! I'm always confused! Am I? Yes!"
Authentic train of though.. honestly..
ARGH! MOTHER FUCKING LUNGS! No.. Oh, shit.. *cough* AAAAARGH! SHIT! FUCK! AAAGH!
This content is gathered from http://blog.riotamot.com. It is shown here because it is tagged with 'vampiressuck' and is written in English.
Let the dead rest until they are needed again. It is no use to deny it any longer. I have to put Vampires Suck on indefinite hold for now. There’s a number of reasons why, and I’ll try to sum them up fairly quickly.
One thing is the internet as a medium in itself. You’ve seen me contemplate in earlier commentaries how the need for proper updates and a fair amount of content each update makes longer storylines challenging. After my first creative breakdown, I started the Chronicles of coffee and cigarettes, adjusting focus from the setting to those who (ab)use it. These were short gags presented as strips. But I don’t want to make strips. Or gags for that matter. At least not now.
VS evolved into something I find much more interesting creating – a story. Some of you, who play any edition of WoD, realise this as well. It’s not about how shitty or badass your character is in a game mechanic balance perspective. It is the drama that inevitably will surface because everything you touch will turn to shit. Life’s still a fucking joke, but everyone doesn’t get it, and others don’t find it particularly funny.
Continuing on what has been done is troublesome. I could start making proper ‘zines altogether out of VS, but there’s simply too much backstory only available online. And then there’s my conscious decision to direct VS to those already familiar with the Masquerade-setting. A proper shift in medium would require a full re-boot, and probably to drop the universe by White Wolf altogether.
But I assure you that the vampires have not returned into the shadows forever. They are always present, and the great resource material for classical Victorian horror can be applied within a multitude of settings. But VS as it is and has been, will not be for quite a while. I am deeply indebted to you all for giving me these 4 years.
Thank you so much,
THE PUBLICUM SPEAKS OUT
The intellectual property of the Old World of Darkness as well as